It’s been years now;
I’m calling off the search for myself.
I think I'm comfortable with "uneasy"
Is there something that could teach me?
I’ve heard perspective comes in handy,
but I'm not sure from where I’m standing
'Cause I’m still sick with passions and inaction,
Experiments in loss studied and practiced.
but not too cool to care.
And I feel ill trading toxins for talking.
Wrestling with doubt,
well, it's all about shadowboxing.
So don’t come a-knocking,
this boy is up rocking,
arms around his knees
on a bare mattress/boxspring
Rode home too high
shouting “I Hate Myself and I Wanna Die”
from 86'd in '03,
released July 25, 2014
Written by Ben Potrykus, who also played guitar and sang. Andy Sadoway played drums and bass. Recorded by Matt Beaudoin at Q Division Studios in Somerville, MA in April 2014. Released on lathecut picture disc plexi in a limited edition of 75 by People In A Position To Know Records.
This record haunted me years before I really got into it. The sounds crept out of fog and smacked me across the head. It feels so neurotic, freakish even... but that garage sound man h i d d e n l e t t e r s